chanel's

2008-07-18T05:02:00.000-07:00

2008-07-07T08:04:00.000-07:00

I'm going somewhere else to write,
somewhere else i feel more comfortable with.
being myself, of cause.
but maybe somehow more private then the place i'm blogging now.
and myself to know better of.. myself.
Somehow. i guess

Memories, alot of memories here.
alot memories from other blog.
but i guess this must change.

2008-07-06T07:12:00.000-07:00

BLOG DEAD!!

2008-07-02T08:38:00.000-07:00

I cannot stand peope using WORDS to hurt my boyfriend.
And you hurt him = you hurt me
Understand fuckers?

About my handphone.
To CLARITY every little fucking thing
I am not looking for an walkman phone. uh huh.
I am not looking for a cybershot phone.
i'm looking for a phone which have blackberry inside.
Able to take good pictures, some sorta like my phone have like 3.2 megapixel
and yes normal features of a sony ericsson phone.
I guess you cheebyes who comment on me dont even know what is blackberry right!
oh wait my phone have a stylus!
Do your walkman phone have a stylus ? :)
oh so someone was talking about w960i.
It was everything that my phone has.
except my phone doesnt have a walkman , HOW SHAMEFUL ??
or may i ask. DO w960i HAVE A FUCKING BLACKBERRRRRRRY?????
and to tell you
8gb phone?
is an 80gb ipod enough for you?
And i guess w960i when it drop guess it takes more scratches then my phone.

2008-07-01T07:18:00.000-07:00

I thought to myself,it was better to let go of my everything in one shot and run away with you. But, i can't put down my love ones, even thought the reason i left because of the word "family". But i know myself my parents will be dissapointed and sad.. Really sad. Yet sometimes you are the reason who made me stay here, and tolerate all this that is happening.I don't know, i found there's a special something in you. Making me happy, making me cheer up everytime i see you or hear your voice.

How sweet you may be, there's always a end. But i'll treasure it.
to make this love meaningful ,to be kept inside my heart.
thanks for loving me with all your heart , willingly.
thanks for tolerating.
thanks for being there 24/7 for me.
i love you hubby , i really really love you.

And yes to other things.
CHALET PICTTTTTURES.
ok la. this year quite touching.
Thanks Hubby for the celebration planning huh ? make me wan cry
and thanks to those who sang bday song for me!
ming,bird,dragon,yuinping,peishan,eunice,sigmund & hubby =)
Thanks for the cake.
Thanks for the jokes.
thanks for everything.
A few good friends of mine ah!

This sound like a thanking blog. but i dont care.
:)

AND YA BOUGHT NEW PHONE.
JEALOUS HUH HAHAHAHHAHA
THANKS HUBBY THANKS THANK THANKKKKS
I LOVE MY TOUCH SCREEN THING LOL
COOLEST SONY ERCISSON PHONE SIA
TMR POST PIC HEHE

2008-06-24T07:35:00.000-07:00

i don't mind you're poor, not hamesome. just a useless promise breaker.
but no , you are always the most hamesome and most caring guy that cud be in my whole life :)
Even thou i no more trust you like how i do last time.
you told me,
None knew how much shits we gone thru.
and yes NONE.
we've been thru so much shit in this 5 months to get how we are now.
How much hurt
how much tears
how much pain
is all worth it.. very worth it.
im sorry i hurt you . i know i had never done that before.. i know how much it hurts.
my heart hurts too..
im sorry..
im very very sorry.
im very lost, real lost.

I just don't want dissapoinments anymore.
no more

2008-06-22T06:29:00.000-07:00

you say you understand
BUT YOU

NEVER UNDERSTAND!

always never
yes now never
tomorrow never
forever never will go understand and will understand
whats with this understand
k fuck

i dont know la
fuck
..........................................................

i'm starting to ask myself why am i so pissed off over everything
i'm starting to ask myself why i love you so much
i'm starting to ask myself , do my feelings for you starting to fade?

I'm trying , are you?

2008-06-21T05:49:00.000-07:00

Going to get another tattoo soon , maybe after my chalet -_-
or something . aiya dont know
im feeling very fucked up now
Mr Wang wei cun have been ignoring me
ok since after like 1 , he made me WAIT again ( what else. always -.- )
then the problem settled between me and him cause he say i act cool la. stupid
then ltr meet his friends then in the mrt he talk to his friends
ignore me again. like HELLO?!??!?!!? im fucking here. wavewave* but yes i guess i still kept quiet.
cause i know i sound like a despo to ask him come and give me a hug or a kiss.
-_- wo hen ai mian zi.. mei you ban fa la
THEN OK LIAO. problem settle again
then i find him so fuck cos i have been listening music, he will like angry
im bored , you aint talking what you want me to do?! UH? what you want?
fuck then you complain say i dont hold your hand or kiss or hug you automatically!
ya fuck you know i am not a fucking automatic girl right! wtf
THE PROBLEM IS
i want to talk on phone with you
you seems like aint bothering.
then i heard you saying " pong "
i guess as much now mahjong also part of your life already huh?
oh yeah forget your fucking gf and play your mahjong.
i'll play mahjong also k
my own.

_l_

2008-06-20T07:37:00.000-07:00

Hahaha HEN SIAN LAH
omgomgomg
tmr go town leh!! HAPPY HAPPY^_^
sound like some ahlian who very long never go town LOL
Hubby and friends :) ( SOUND LIKE SOMEONE ????)
hahaha!

xoxo.

2008-06-19T00:11:00.000-07:00

i'm at the internet cafe, how cool.
\hmm , some old street at little india or something.. alone.
hahaha , hubby has went to his conselling at tekka mall and im at cafe. cool.
free 20mins when buy a drink ;)

He's like so long, i'm here waiting for him.
damn. BORED!
but im kinda stress free here. guess is a nice place to sit down and relax.
ah. =)

xoxo

2008-06-18T08:07:00.000-07:00

mahjong lose $12 la
luck not good!!!!!!!!!

aiya nothing to blog
my life getting worse sia
bf mahjong sleep eat talk on phone watch tv play td -_-!!
yanhan ah!! 学校要开了啦!!!!
suffering from insoemia. knn
how i go back to school sia.
-.-
kkkkkkkkkkkkk
no life no life

!!!!!!!!!!
what am i blogging i also dont know sia
wtf me.

Anyway i'm sick of the blog skin hur
hen sian i want pick again i think
maybe everything will be in photoshop ?
maybe. :)

tata
go sleep la
dont read alr
kkkk
xoxo

2008-06-17T07:09:00.002-07:00

love baby muackmuackmuack .hehe hahahahahhahaa :P

HAPPY fifth month ah!!!!! 55555555555555555555.

i cannot believe we at vivo for 4 hours :o just by sitting there.
cheap sushi soybean! great haha
THEN!!
admirity for dinner. MAC ahaha for 5th month loL cheap food plz
some yps disturbing me eat worx hahaha.
say want use KC seh people oh. fierce
k
i got nothing to blog
school reopening la.

actually can go thailand next week
MOM dont let cos sch reopen. and i stupid say sch reopen next week
;(;(

chalet on NEXT FRIDAY :) friends wanna go contact msn plz. thanks ^_^
at nsrcc.
uh...... www.nsrcc.com.sg LOL go see address urself la.

k end blog
hate u hubby. no la fake. :) love u like crazy :D:D:DD

2008-06-14T21:28:00.000-07:00

Now i remember it was friday the 13th , the day we all quarrel
Serious no point saying sorry. what is sorry to me?
is just another useless word to replace the things you done isn't it?
why not you people just go do your stuff and don't bother what i fucking put here huh ?
i don't mind losing friends that are not worth myself keeping.. but yes maybe junming.
i treated him as one of my closest friends , sigmund reuben dragon and junming.
those four gone thru with me so much.after losing those girlfriends of mine.
they were by my side, not minding me , as a girl. it was so touching
cos' my class always so fucked up , dislike girls in class.
when i'm sad they always stand by me.
stand my nasty attitude.
Of cos ,
movies we saw,
slacking , chalet last year.
play psp at the staircase near reuben house.
shopping for gf's gift.. shopping. eating at s11
i guess this is all memories.
nice memories that i'll keep forever.
thank you ;')

i read yuinping's blog how i miss the times i said
being sad, doesn't give a reason to smile..
it made me feel so terrible.
i couldn't find the real smile back. after this i guess
i'll try.. i'll try

back to ytd..

steamboat at charmaine house!
with maine, vian, erwin, desmond, brendon, hubby and ivan
kay, was bored and out of food . cos i halal didn't get to eat anything that alot chicken!
All pork lol.
Great day with ivan and hubby.
so long didn't see ivan already huh! :)
thanks for making me laugh so much.. even thou it was really very lame lol
i guess no one cud really make me laugh except the both of you!
love you both! :D

and peishan's sick! SO AM I!!!!!
stop asking me go see doctor, if not my parents why cock excuses to make me
STAY AT HOME! and that's a nono!
fever 3 days , today no more fever then i can't speak. MY THROAT HURTS!
body aching. hubby i want massage pls. :P

alright end of post.
buffet at night. or restarant , either. i scared my throat can't make it siah. lol

peishan said : NO SPICY AND OILY FOOD

me , try . haha

edit.. ( ;) )

I remember about a story about a little wave.
there's a big wave coming, they say. and whoosh . the water blew it down.
little wave was scared. he wanted to go the another direction. he don't want to dissapear.
the another big wave said " little wave , why are you going the another direction ? "
the little wave replied " i don't want to be blown off! i don't wanna dissapear "
the big wave laughed.. " haha, you won't dissapear, as long as you are part of the sea, you'll always remain here"

it made me learned.
life is not avoidable.
death isn't as horrible.
on the 13th april , just one day , i've learned to treasure.

and hubby i love you
i say a 1000 times a 1000000 times also won't bored.
you understand?
i really really love you.
i feel so guilty . i never sacrifice for you, never done anything..
only minor stuff. just giving you a peak , or a hug.
i never understand you. i only let you in pain
i'm sorry.

2008-06-13T22:01:00.000-07:00

Ha, what is this craps huh?
Oh yeah jonathan said is my freedom of writing so i dont need to hide anymore
jonathan junming weicun and ur gf, you think ur gf heard what we said and all meh
she only gave those fucking sarcastic and dulan HUHs ok.
you call this respect ah ? yanhan bu shi hao bully de worx
you think you are still correct huh. i said i dont like her face wat. and is truth
and what people start covering up for her?
do you all think i say i dont want see her face will end everything huh ?
you said on your nick " i'm a typical lian " oh sooooo sarcastic hor.
i thought she like shout wan? ask her shout at me lo :O

Fuck you junming and engwoon ;)

oh yeah JUNMING a big point to blog about huh
You just fucking ask yourself you got ur gf also how much you've change la
i never tell you meh ? i nag you 2 times alr leh
but have you changed? please lor. you call this changing?
changing to be worse la.
everyone can feel it. you think i willingly talk to you?
you and i have nothing to talk already
what. 3 years friend gone like that.
shiok hor. hahahahaha
i don't mind losing a friend like YOU.
ha. tell starboy say " i can't believe you can stand yanhan's attitude , no one can sia " " you not tired meh "
" i very pei fu you can tahan her leh.."
Ya Thanks ar, good friend . i'll remember you as my bestest friend EVER hor. :) happy to know you huh

Did i even fucking say you need to stand my fucking attitude! you can jolly well fuck off if you can't stand it!
i didn't say you needa stay here forever listen to all my shit!
you just ask your fucking self why you all everyone quarrel with each other!
YA MAYBE ME MAYBE ENGWOON
wait
it was me
Everything was me. i started all this shit by being straight forward huh?
so there's a wrong being straightforward. i don't backstab i say it right to your face ;)
and yet all this shit is pouring on me huh?
So yanhan's always in the wrong
cause my attitude sucks . i'm a fucker and wait.. a whore?
MAYBE hahahaha

Some people just think i with starboy becos' of power?
So do you think i know he's a gangster in the fucking 1st day i meet him?
Did i asked starboy to beat you ? Did i ?
He made me control, yet all saying i use him for powers huh ?
so you think , i break up with him will be the best solutions to shut ur fucking mouth
you can just dont call me anymore
go find your new friends , gfs.
hmm how about saying ? try me . i won't even call starboy if i ever slap your gf
who will be there to stop me ? was starboy. It was never his intention to make me slap your gf ,ass.
You all just push to the end for me , i can't have a place to respond.
i didn't want to lose all my friends.
But hey you FORCED ME .
You said i got starboy you've got no one.
ha no one ? i guess you have alot friends help you lah :D
see you want not only ma
and how about me, saying about your skinnies stuff
those rainbow skinnies, you just shooting me back indirectly lor :D
try ask an ahlian buy a dress in topshop for fucking $157
or rather ask her buy bugis clothes.
sure bugis clothes. yeah cheap and trendy mah hor.
my bf isn't a guy who ask people come down to whack you or anyone.
he is not those 15 16 yp.
he is a fucking 21 yrs old. 6sir ORD alpha company alright.
who knows how fucking think. not as stupid as ever.
SO MAYBE YOU CALL ME STEP POWER AH!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
puki , come try me la.

This is the end.
of everything

Fuck all of you who reads this

2008-06-09T22:36:00.000-07:00

Sometimes i feel,
i ain't yanhan anymore..
Or maybe i just can't be myself anymore.. or being myself too much
till some of friends , rather close friends saying i'm different.
I still being myself thought.
i don't wanna lose friends because of this.
still i have peishan eunice yuinping dragon sigmund reuben and of cause my cute hubby!
thanks for being the one who really saw my true self and understand me.
or rather those fake friends understand me
..

2008-06-08T06:47:00.000-07:00

Now is 5.47 in the sunday morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IM AWAKE. stupid ahhhdeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
sleepy pig still sleeping ,
I SO EXCITED TODAY GOING ESCAPE!!!! we gonna cycle again ok laogonggong

ok wait i heard my HOME CLOCK RING LIKE bird sound
ok its time for me to bath~

tata

2008-06-05T21:45:00.000-07:00

Fuck you lah
in all the specs must you say the one i have
FUCK YOU
fuck you yp
fuck you bitch
uh. you think you are so pretty wearing the same thing everytime?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
fuck you . u are a bloody bitch who just adding salt and pepper to other relationships too bitch
people dont tend to hate you as must as i hate you la. HAHA
but still i fucking hate you

aint jealous of you , but you are so childish so i bother what seh right?
think you hawtstuff huh. pigu lanjiao lah.
wear skinny very big meh? serious. one vest and uh. skinnies?
HAHA, typical yp dressing uh ?
i know if you think im saying you, you will kaobei to ur "cute" bf right
or maybe you wont even read my blog.
HAHAHAHAHAHA

anw other stuff
i pierced my eyebrow ytd
then at night i geykiang take out den cant put in
so next week i piercing agn. ;)

2008-06-04T23:50:00.000-07:00

I'm at home
i duno where im going
i duno what to do
LOL

ivan's suggesting to find job
no idea going where
ok great la
stupid then going rain
cant go swimming

shit
shit

rot
rot
rot

rot at home -_-

2008-05-30T05:46:00.000-07:00

Is a friday night and i'm here blogging. This is crazy. -_- What's worse is i'm actually at home now!!
LOL!! miracle or what??

GSS is already starting for a long time and i can't go shopping so often loh
till my mom's exams are over!
THIS IS CRAZY LOH.
cos' she is my walking atm ;) * thats why i need her to go
HAHA
I cannot stand those shops right , put very big banners like.
50% 30% SALE STOCKS BLABLA 70% credit card 50% and 10% rebate!
Ok fuck yourself.
i don't wanna see all those!! Very tempting.

My arm is very pain, yesterday at escape after we played the inverter,
i hold the bar to take my bag, and then i think i twisted or " la dao gen " or is it call pull till the vein ?
LOL. Ouch.. i'm still feeling very pain ;(

Laogonggong saw the news paper ( okay that is already a second miracle LOL ) saying there's this chinese physician
for slimming at like $4 ? Maybe i hear wrong lOl.
ok i think is veryyy cool if it is $4 so i can do it straight tomorrow. ok im crazy again -_-

Friends ??
You have a gf and you forget who was with you when you both having quarrels , when you need us.
Ha, you call yourself a good friend? How foolish i am to name you as one of my best friends whom i known
for 3 years.
I'm shameful to be your friend your spare tyre.
Uh huh , you may be somehow a friend to be there. but when you have a gf , everything changed.
i guess this may be how i see you treat your own friends YEA?

Don't eleborate already. k. yanhan shutup

18days to our 5th month. Are you excited laogonggong? ^.^

2008-05-29T05:36:00.000-07:00

ESCAPE VERY FUN!!!!!
hahahahahahahahahaha
early in the morning go .
morning = 11+++++
wet & wild + flipper closed.
haiz
but was fun right. YP!!
i m PRO in go kart loh
hubby say i drive car very SHUAI ;P
hahahaha
cannot stop laughing.
i think we wasted 40+ on cab fare.
cycling was fun with hubby.
lang man lang man yi xia worhx. :)
didn't took any photo.
so tired ;(
yp just reminded me when go home that time!
LOL

ok. red house was scary
very
i think the lions keep stare at me i feel uncomfortable loh
but now i feel better ;))

AND WALAO I SPEND $9.10 for burgerking. HOW CRAZY IS THAT? in escape.
WALAO!

k looking forward for 7th june , kevin's birthday!
8th june escape again. free somemore who dont go LOL
9th june still kevin's chalet.
27th june my chalet!
Yerps! still have alot chalets that i didn't disclosed.
Cause I DONT WANNA GO LOL
HEHEHEHE

Reminder to myself : My menses is coming. SHIT!

slaps myself for not blogging much nowadays!
JUNE HOLIDAYS WHO CAN BLOG RIGHT..
LOL.
i promised yuinping , peishan , eunice and hubby to GO SCHOOL REGULARLY AFTER HOLS
ok . must prove to them! dont care! i want my 100% attendance. high fever also go LOL....
you will see yanhan everyday in school yay

2008-05-25T07:54:00.000-07:00

Memory of gucci.

To those friends of mine.
Or anyone who read this.

i really appreciate you will have a silent for 1 minute or maybe some prayers for gucci.

she passed away on 25may08 , sunday.
in the morning.

i just want to let gucci know that no matter you are in the other world, or the times with us.
You are our baby kitten
always will be.
the fact doesn't change

and you know your so called " mama and papa " will always love and miss you here.
and i really hope you could rest in peace.
and i guess you won't suffer as much as what earth has given you
this may be fate or some other stuff. but still the fun and laughter that you gave us.
i really appreciate it gucci .

this post will be kept as a memory of you.
thanks for everything.
for the past 7 days.
appreciate it alot.
iloveyou.and i do really miss you.

:')

2008-05-22T04:36:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow going down for interview at cityhall.
i hope i could make it for the job thou.
full time shop asst.
i really hope i can do that job.
i seriously wanna see him at thr.
is at raffles city.. same as him.
just a few steps away i could reached to him.

how im going to miss

You fetching me after school.
You carrying my bag
Sitting at sch outside void deck waiting for junming they all together
crap together
i skip school meeting you in the morning, go your house to sleep.
go see gucci at your house
eat maggie together
using my elbow to disturb you
tickle you , pinch your face
sending me home afraid to see my parents
you nagging at me

i'll miss it. i really do.

Exaggerating. i know
but i dont care
i miss you la!

and i am sick of my blogskin pink
i wanna be BLACK AND EMO
HAHAHAHA

ANYWAY!
ilGAYSIA.
and
happy birthday jonathan lian! =)

2008-05-20T07:45:00.000-07:00

i hate people shout at me
i hate people shout at me
i hate people shout at me
i hate people shout at me
i hate people shout at me
i hate people shout at me
i hate people shout at me
i hate people shout at me
i hate people shout at me
i hate people shout at me
i hate people shout at me
i hate people shout at me
i hate people shout at me
i hate people shout at me
i hate people shout at me
i hate people shout at me
i hate people shout at me
i hate people shout at me
i hate people shout at me
i hate people shout at me
i hate people shout at me

Especially my love one.
YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND??????????????
Don't know how say me izit?
NO ONE ASK U TO FUCKING SAY ME!
GO CARE ABOUT URSELF
FUCK

2008-05-17T05:51:00.000-07:00

This is how i spend my 4th month with baby

- I quarrel with bi cos of mom
- Bi told me he found a kitten damn cute
- Meet at lot one
- Fell in love with kitten
- and decided to have it as pet. :)

GUESS WHAT'S MY KITTEN NAME!!!!
GUESS!!!!!!!!

Gucci.
:P :P :P hahaha

Even thought i can't bring it home cos of some family reasons..
at least is still at ahdear house in peace.
Dissapointed yet happy.
=)

i love GUCCI

2008-05-09T10:27:00.000-07:00

HAHAHAHA
Spider asshole make me go down aljunied
say i buang you actually more buang then me :DDDD
dua me leh!!!!!
ur mama grow cock la.
i am not ahlian who say got taiji in blogs.
but i wearing heels and i want to complain!!!!
AND IS IN THE EVENING.
cibai. alot kuey ok
then all uncle look me tiko
still sit tat fucking 67 bus.
EEE!! BANGALA SMELLY ( RACIST )

one conclusion : i hate it

stupid junming say go yewtee then in the end go limbang

:((:((:((

make me dabao macdonalds from lot one. go to limbang macdonalds LOL
IDIOT

I HATE BIBI ( YOU! )
dont know how xingshang my blog sua!!!!! HEHE :P

2008-05-02T21:59:00.000-07:00

u may think im fine
i cut myself yet again
for what? family
i promised people
i promised to never cut
i promise that i wont think of stupid stuff
i told people im fine.
but the pain inside on one understands
everyone think im fine.
everyone thinks im okay
i just wanna wash away the pain
im bathing cold water to run away the pain i hving

kill me

2008-04-26T08:01:00.000-07:00

My eyebrow is not growing...
do i need to draw it for my whole life?!?!?
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

Ohmygod LOL
i dont want draw lah!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm sick of drawing. lol i dont want make up also.

Fake.
HEHEHEHE

LOLOLOL EHEHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH
AHAHHAAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH
AHAHA

2008-04-22T02:35:00.000-07:00

Is been years since i blog.
Why should i even blog when i got a diary
hahaha
have not been going school regularly. nope never. lol
quarrels have been occuring again and again for me and him.
have also been switching my group of friends.
maybe i'll feel more comfortable like this.
my family sucks
ah fuck
my life sucha miserable fuck omg

can i like quit smoking
i think i have been smoking more then what i used to.
omg .

and there's this stupid fly flying around my table for like 15mins!!!!
and i m bloody pissed off lor.
fuck ah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh yeah talking about this kinda stuff
i killed a lizard like 2 days ago. uh.. sunday
is a baby lizard thou. i didnt meant to kill it really :(
i wanna shoot water then ltr the lizard will just go out of the window
cos' is actually a residential lizard living in my bathroom for 2 weeks and i haven got the time to chase it out!
the lizard kinda stupid lar. the mother never teach the baby well.
she wanted to go to the mirror behind to hide but NO he was shoot out by me
Ps/ : why she , cos she doesn't have a penis. ok la maybe is a him once. i dont know, scarely the last person who made him cut his tail off and penis too OMG HAHAHAHAHA
okay continue.
she was real slow. maybe giddy or something cos' lizards can't really touch water.. and that causes the lizard to always be at houses and all..
i decided to throw soap at it.
okay this is VERY FUN I TELL YOU
i tried throwing like bleach , shampoo toothpaste all
the lizard was like filled with blech powder.
LOLOLOL MUAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
i think the skin burning so i decided to be kind hearted and let her RIP at the basin by opening the basin cover
and shoot her inside. she must be happy i save her life by washing her bleach off.
omg.

in the end i got scolded yet praise by my family
all laughing at me.
LOL
saying i dirty the bathroom but at least got kill/make away the stupid lizards
and they are fucking disgusting!!!!!!
they have poo on the war but wash it off already
yay for me :)

ya la and my bf stupid
want me blog say "hello" from him to u all
i say byebye k
bye

2008-04-15T05:20:00.000-07:00

!! update tmr!
i sleeping 8 hrs.
since like 3 days ago :D
healthy :):)

byebye

2008-04-10T05:17:00.000-07:00

our 3 months is coming baby
it hurts when i heard you cut your hand. wtf la.
thank you for the diary.
and those memories we have.

love you!

2008-04-06T05:22:00.000-07:00

Clans drifted , even thou we meet every morning.
i don't seems to be in their eyes anymore.
friends?
what's friends?
what's sisters?
arhkaliao friends?

simi lai eh ??
simi LANJIAO

CRAP.

TO YOU , BIBIBIBIBIBIBIBIBIBIBIBIBIBI

During my worst moments.
happiest days.
The tears we cried together
the night msges you send to me everynight without fail.
making each other jealous using darling.
spend those memories at sentosa.
those moments when i didn't let you buy choco , but in the end
still buy. cos the way you wanted it was like so cute lor. buaytahan.
Listening to my problems on phone , real life. and giving me advises.
meeting each other , promise not to late. but ltr drag time 1 hr 2 hr 3 hr.
you being late always making me damn pissed.
sign contract to stop those late moments!!!!
how you kissed me.
how you hugged me.

I appreciate it all.

Thanks for being there for me.
crying for me.
give in
loving me .
caring me, always.

Even thou i may not show that i really love you
due to cant express out.
but you are meant much more inside my heart then anybody else.
i don't need anyone's approval to love someone.
and the someone i love.
is you :)

2008-04-05T07:22:00.000-07:00

He look damn siao on that day lol.
i laughed for the whole day lor. lol thanks to his face.
i cannot stand his face siol. LOL i keep laughing like ah siao also
never go school and with him for 3 days i think since sports day ah. i think
LOL
this 3 days laugh like siao likethat wtf is wrong with me

I've got my first tattoo!!!!!!!!!

YAY!!!!!!!
Blogging to share the joy.
chio hor :P
some random peeps said my tattoo was like typical.
hello ?? hardly got girls or maybe guys put nautical star at the position the way i put okay
so don't say is typical. _l_

2008-04-03T22:56:00.000-07:00

I finally found someone willing to take photos with me alot( camwhore )!
even thou i look like fk!!! makeup smudge or something
i find this picture very loving! LOLOLOL

34mins till dear rched home
countdown.

2008-04-02T07:02:00.000-07:00

What's with the fake all.
Fake Lv
Fake gucci
Fake juicy
Fake you
Fake me
Fake photos
Fake this fake that

aiya fuck you.
everyone's imperfect
Fat ker? Thin ker?
butoh

you care siaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

I just feel offended lor , when someone ask do you edit your photos.
sorry passerby if you ever see this. i still gotta say
i mean you think i'm fake right? all make up , all edit.
sorry lor. i dont usually edit my face.
maybe zapzap abit on the zits.
most of the pictures are taking in different angle.
what do you expect ? me to look the same everytime???????
if i do @.@ , all my photos all expression @.@ @.@ meh
cannot be what, sometimes must :P :D :) right.
i hate people keep say that lah
i feel so offended sia.
wthwth
even if im fat and ugly. buang ker. but sorry ja. i am still me.
dont need you to judge ka.
:)

this blog kinda dead man
bang.

too much of boyfriend can really kisiao.
untill i no time to blog ( using as excuse :P )

2008-03-29T03:09:00.000-07:00

stop your crying it will be alright
just take my hand and hold it tight.
i will protect you from, all around you.
i will be here , dont you cry.
My arms will hold you keep you save and warm
this bound between us can't be broken
i will be here dont you cry.
you you'll be in my heart.
yes you'll be in my heart
from this day on and forever more.

Nursing was great
i miss ann & thomas already!!
i miss the aircon
i miss the scale lab
not i love studying , but i prefer this better then in class lah.
this one can slack so much. bring 711 stuff up and eat
so shiok lor.
hahahahaha

This is the normal look like yp top i bought from topshop lor -.-
it keep dropping off nowadays.
is either i thin down or the string break or what already
LOL
i dont know why i blog about it.
just bored lah

THOMAS!! w/o his penis
i was like 1 hr late to take the picture of the penis!
the tcher said we keep disturbing thomas penis.
so she took it away.. awwww ;((((

2008-03-26T01:42:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was a happy day
Today was a sad day.
i fucking give up on relationships.
you dont appreciate it
fine! i fucking don't care anymore
go and live your own life.
i will be here alone again
i don't need anyone
everything changed
you , me . relationship . love

what the fuck is the problem ?!
i asked you go home is becos is gonna rain . you still want follow me.
bring umbrella you dont want.

you don't need my care?
i dont need yours too!
i have enough!
go away!
i have been tolerating too much

2008-03-25T00:25:00.000-07:00

I'm sick of crying
i'm sick of missing you
i'm sick of caring for you
i'm sick of understanding people.
i'm sick of excuses
i'm sick of life
i'm sick of love
i'm sick of being fucking naive

2months 8 days
i fucking understand what is a onesided-pain
i know you gave me all you could give, or maybe more then what i have asked for.
but did you know how much i give in . and how much you needed more from me?

waited at bus stop for you for minutes.. time ticks , wind blows , heavy rain
i'm still there waiting for you.

i'm tired
my heart hurts..
i can't sleep again..
2 days already
why can't this relationship be simple and no worries?
i miss how i call you baby , and talking to you on phone happily.
how much you call me auntie and i call you uncle in the past.
we communicate so well.
how about now?
few sentence may kill even.
when i'm typing this i cried again
there's too much dissapoinment.
i'm sorry for everything.
i'm really sorry
you asked me if i ever loved the wrong person
the answer to that i dont even know myself.
i loved you . i cant promise you that is alot
but i can tell you that i loved the guy most in my whole 14 years of life is you..
you are the guy who touched my heart.
make me fall so in love.
make me feel what is true happiness.
what is pain
what it is feel like to miss someone alot.

you meant too much for me.
im too selfish
once agn
im sorry.

2008-03-24T00:41:00.000-07:00

i was in bad mood.
and it caused me to leave the place and DUH gaming at arcade
and holy shit

kana!
i won a ds lite!
happy all the way untill
11.30

my aunt keep niam-ing me like fuck
chibye keep ask me go sleep
am here now 12.39 blogging and NOT SLEEPING
i have fucking sleeping disorder she still want force me
cheebye ask her knock me to slp la kana use one pan to hit me la
kaobei so much then make me more dont want sleep

fuck my family
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
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fuck you all humans
fuck you bitches
fuck you bastards
fuck you family
fuck your mother
fuck those assholes

AND SO BITCH, YOU GONNA TELL ME HOW AM I GONNA LIVE MY LIFE HUH ?]

since i am so bored!
i am gonna continue blogging about people!
humans. YES YOU

i hate my cousins
they just dont click with me do they ?
they always think like they are the best of everything.
oh yeah . fuck you!
so what you UNI ? so what you have like 6 points for your fucking Os
i dont even fucking care all of you!
FUCKFUCKFUCK!

and my bf is going down to help his bro or something
that leaves me to more boreness
i think i'll go listen music chat and go sleep
sigh fucking boring life
tmr having nursing course
shit.

2008-03-22T19:18:00.000-07:00

Went baby house like uh.. 1+ ? LOL lepak lor.
aiya nothing to say
if i list out what i have done for the day
isn't it boring already ? LOL

YA AND MY BF IS FUCKING MIA-ING!!! FOR 1+HR!!!!!!!!!!
WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

i closed my nose piercing again.
not wat la. i slping keep hitting it.
VERY IRRITATED LOR.
then i decided to close it :)
NOW ONLY EARS NONO NOSE :)
I'm a elegant girl LOL WTF

2008-03-21T21:16:00.000-07:00

I hate
repeat

I HATE

Being used as an walking ATM machine. My whole life i can never find true friends who just fucking say a word call " nvm lah. we pay individual " Exclude people like boyfriend , sisters , twinnie :P

Others.
to tell you a truth .
YOU ARE A FUCKING PIECE OF CRAP.

You just don't know how it feels like to be used by people , even your closest friends! Or some " arh ka liao sister/brother" Actually treat you as their money. Very clever those kinda people , try to make me use money on them , and i stupidly know they got money. just let them.

I do live in a semi-detached house, i have a family who can afford me to live a life normally , i can spend thousand of money on shopping. I can have money anytime i need anytime i want.

SO YOU ALL PEOPLE CAN USE ME HUH ??????????????

Clubbing i pay your door fee
Go out i pay your meals
Go home i pay your transport

CHIBYE YOU THINK I YING ZHUA DI AR. nbcb

This world is unfair and certainly not free
Even if i won't "zui jiu" it already
The god is watching you
especially cai shen ye
Next chinese new yr YOU WATCH OUT

After all the anger management given by friends

MAHJONG at baby house!!!! Win $2 , k la not bad alr.
rather all my money go to her fucker

Like zhen an said "this kinda friend is worthless "
And yes i think so too
but i heart too good HEHE

I GOING TO NEVER FORGIVE AND NEVER FORGET YOU ALL BLOODY FUCKERS
NOW YOU ALL FUCKING GUILTY RIGHT
THOSE THAT DO ALL THIS NOW . WHO READ THIS
THOSE WHO DONE THAT TO YOUR FRIENDS
BE FUCKING GUILTY ASSHOLE!!

_______l_______

2008-03-20T21:28:00.000-07:00

Mosquitos are fucking terror

WTF

AND IT KEEPS GOING THRU YOUR MIND LIKE THIS
MUAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA

_l_ all muthufucker mosquitos

See we sick people

So pathetic kana bite
:(

Baby was really damn terrible tio 11 mosquito bites i think
HAHA
suay ge lao sai.
at least MUI not so bad ar. 3 only :D
at home direct put mopiko ( clever me! )

WARNING TO YOU MOSQUITOS ! i am so gonna smack you right on the face when i see you the next time ( with boxes )
i dont dare touch lol. :D

end this post with a sick me
HOW PALE!!

Anyway i changed my blogsong to a malay song!! how nice :D

2008-03-18T07:26:00.000-07:00

Love of my life,
my soul.. me
you are my best friend
part of me like bleeding.
Half of me is left.
dont know anything at all.
who am i to say , you love me?
dont know anything at all.
who am i to say you need me

I put everything behind and piority goes to you first,
but am i even your first piority?
i can give up everything for you. CAN YOU?!
i don't think so, or maybe it has been always likethat.
im sick of everything la
give me a break

WhatTheFuck is my fucking problem .
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!

i'm sick of being at home
i'm sick fo going out
i'm sick of playing
i'm sick of studying
i want to die . solves all problems.
FUCK

...............................................................................................

REMINDER TO MYSELF ( no need to read below :) )
* Do not buy topshop clothes for 1 month
* Do not spend money ( Limit $100 )
* Go school regularly
* Wake up early
* Thin down and be pretty always

chaochibye i spend like $800 on sunday.
just saw my receipts all.
mother fault :(

2008-03-17T07:40:00.000-07:00

14th day never so sch!!!!!!!!
tmr i going!
YAY!!!

happy 2nd month , love you my darling babyyy

2008-03-15T23:59:00.000-07:00

Cosplay was a blast.
many cute people ard.. dont cha think . haha
( exclude my loli shoes are gone. WTF )
and my umbrella's missing
my bag is gone.

i think i am perfectly fine.
just i think going to lot one with loli is a bad idea -_-!

and yep.
bad things have been going around lately..
i dont know if is becos' of my pms.. or just plainly i think too much.
sigh..

kill me please.

2008-03-13T08:09:00.000-07:00

WTF
i hate my mother fucking yell at me !
BLARDY HELL

2008-03-11T08:30:00.000-07:00

WHATHEFUCK
now is 8.30am , miraculously is so early and i'm awake here blogging
blardy hell. i having my PMS.
then my stomach pain siahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
i want complain :( :( :(
i hate pms.

Kanina

PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have so nothing to blog
aiya nvm i will continue to complain. ZZ
then pms , if i shit ltr got blood.
FUCKING MAFAN SIAK
i now everyday shit like fuck. engine choke.
den now must clean blood also.
WTF
i so wanna be a boy
organ lying outside
better then egg bleed inside siak!!!!!!
( this point of time i want to cut out my ovaries )
Then now i hearing gimme more. my stomach pain ok already becos this song pain agn
knn my ovaries horny agn la ccb
( britney voice like moaning what )
ovaries reacting siakkkkk. CCB
my house no panadol. ( actually got la. laZY find :D )

i said pain is pleasure right!
!!! not this kinda ccb pain
nabey. pukimak
i so wanna kill myself.
SO PAIN WALAO
-_- i scared sleep , my thing overflow siahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
:(((

2008-03-10T06:26:00.000-07:00

LOL.
chaocheebye
today overslept on the bus then got people wake me and baby up
CCB LAO KUE ( paiseh siak )
i still can tell baby to be like higher cos i leaning on his shoulder
LOL NECK PAIN SIAK
LOOOOOOOOOOOL
duno la. i think i siao siao liao
*slaps myself

lOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOl

then go airport out of boredom
coming back liao that time.
WTF CB SOMEONE FARTED SIAK CB
so long never smell. kinda shiok i guess loooooooooooooL
smelly siah. then he keep quiet lol
terrible sg -_-

anw

best 2nd month present lor.
court case uh! 17 MARCH SIAK
wtFFFFFF

Bless baby got probation
so have like no time to hong girls till late late :D
YAY!
<3

and im sooooo fully-appointt-eddddxxxzxzxzxz this week
means i'm going out like everyday!
siao already lor

$$$$$$$$ roll in~

Xoxo

($.$) mrs Ying zhua di

2008-03-09T21:15:00.000-07:00

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go

The last time you was going in was like on 10/11th feb ,
in the end nothing happen.
we then i celebrate so much things with you
our 1st month , your birthday.
make me love you even more.
now is already our 2nd month soon , next sunday.
just one week away.
and tmr is just another obsticle for us again..
i guess true love do never come smooth.
i'll miss you
even thought i am like talking on the phone with you now.
i don't know i just feel a presence that will soon leave me.
making me drop my tears again.
i'm bleeding inside so badly, how i wish tmr will never come..
you said the song i playing was sad.. and wanted me to change it. but it seems that it became part of me now.
i feel so like this song.. the wind blew me away..
sigh.. i just want peace giving myself some space to breath..

i can't say anything to you now.
just..
Takecare of yourself.
if there's blanket cover yourself.
you so weak can't take cold cold d weather one.
Don't fall sick..
remember
there's always a girl longing for you to come out
willing to takecare of you, willing to die for you
willing to suffer just anything to be with you.
loving you has been the greatest moment.
being with you is the happiest thing in life it could happen to me.
i love you

XoXo ,
the girl that always be missing you here.

2008-03-07T23:00:00.000-08:00

i'm missing from sch since tues ( from JO's blog! )
Even thought i do not have to wake up early.
but i still want to go sch leh. at home also bored nothing to do!
I THINK EVERYONE I KNOW IN SCH THAT HAS NOT SEE ME OR JUST SEEN ME YTD OUTSIDE SCH
thought i die already
:P yeah maybe
! hello!! i'm not dead yet! HEHEHE

i have lost like 3 kgs is 2 weeks , i don't know why
STRESS AHHAHAHAHA no la.
cos' i think i have been shitting what i eat
i eat already then i shit , shit already then i eat
eh nono
AIYA overall I THINK I SHIT FUCKING 4-5 TIMES A DAY

i'll be moving myself to myspace and spend it like 24/7 there!
HAWT GUYSZZZZXZXZXZXZ
i love ang mohs. HHEHEHEHHEHEHE
<3 emo guys
baby if you ever read this. :P SORRY UH!! ANGMOH TOO HOT!!

2008-03-05T16:36:00.000-08:00

Shut up , is a complain post

2 days not attending sch
i like everyweek also likethat siah lol
i have 7 ulcers attacking on my right side of my mouth
FUCKING AWFUL.
i looked like i have a blowjob mouth :(((( ( on the right only )
my lips are dry
i put those ulcer gels but it doesn't help!!! IS ALREADY THE 4TH DAY
ulcers are causing me to have fever which made me FUCKING cold!!!!!!
i cover blanket close my door w/o aircon never open window wear 2 jackets and long pjs
I AM STILL FUCKING COLD!!!!!
baby how i wish you were by my side now :( ( even thou i will still feel cold )
i need medicine to cure like what my mum said and she didn't even give me the fucking antibiotics.
this isn't about fried food!!!!! i didn't do anything and it grow at a fucking awful place
i cant brush my teeth well my gums are fucking bleeding everytime i brush it!
i only can rinse my mouth this few days.
i have not eaten much
i am sad! ( over ulcers!!!!!!!!)
is fucking big. is like 1-2 cm big on the side of my fucking mouth!
FUCK OFF!!!!

WHATTHEFUCK!! IM FEELING FUCKING TERRIBLE!

2008-03-03T06:14:00.002-08:00

My fucking blogger is ultra lag!!!!!
or maybe the whole fucking server! I WANT MY OWN WEB HOSTING
i swear when my posb card hits $500 i will apply!

Today sucha bad day . over some class issues! Fuck your mother pussy. argh waste my fucking breath!
I am so not gonna go sch since i am so bored of everything

Life have been cruel to me all along, nothing seems to be very right for me.
Broken thorns , unfixing pieces of broken glasses.
How am i gonna live that far with withered roses of love?
Just trying to fixed up the broken pieces and sticking it back one by one.
With the transparent shade of glue that dropped on the floor
sticking the sadness and ugly memories by me always.
which didn't even take a look how i am right now.
Feeling uneasy always , trying to change what i could be and what i was.
i thought you will be here, curing all my pain.
Maybe is just a another way round of love that filled with awful pain and fear
Which i myself yet don't know what to do.
I thought i could treat life as a challenge to give more , expect less.
Forgive and forget, yet i'm just a another pathetic loser too.
Giving up everything i have because of you
I feel raindrops keep dripping one by one on my head.
signals me that i missed you each day longer.
living a life.. just terribley alone even thought you'll be here.
Not understanding a single thing.
A sad memory to pass thru my heart, a sorrow , a fear , a pain.
i myself feel paralyzed and numb all over.
how i feel now, in myself
Is just a piece of silence , without you calling me.
trying to wake myself with everything i could.
ain't i naive or barely ignorant? i hate myself for blaming you
and blaming the people around me.
i'm just another problematic no use person.
who don't deserves any respect from anyone.

I'm sorry for the post up there.
Everything is written by me.
so please do not take it as a song and copy paste.
(sorry for spelling mistakes >< )

lotsa love.

2008-03-02T08:47:00.000-08:00

i watched leap years yesterday yo!!
i cried loL so paiseh , and we met alot of siao people that day! one indian guy in the bus he keep say " spice girls " then look at us, when he go down le he smile like those evil smile lol. scary, movie inside also got this girl beside peishan so noisy lOl cant concentrate . lol but still cry!! hahaha. happy day!

To whom it may concern.
wtf ok. i say already i'm not sick!!!! and i'm very energetic la. wtFFFFFFFFFFFFF why must you keep applying to me im sick?! if i cough i can counted as sick but for flu is NO cos' i always been like this since i was 4 years old! It cannot be cured for goodness sake. im not trying to provoke you or wat! but can you please SPARE A THOUGHT FOR ME ? i fucking 5 days have not see you and you keep saying those dont meet and stuff to me. you think not hurting one ar? i say you yesterday cant go out becos' you are really sick. but for me flu is just a small sickness since i was fucking small shit! tmr im busy tues too! i don't think i'm going out for the fucking weeks! IM FEELING FUCKING DOWN , YOU CANT EVEN FUCKING FEEL IT!

MY LIFE SUCK . FUCK OFF
and fucking blogger is fucking laggy making my mood even worse
and fucking can't upload those chio photos
FUCK EVERYONE LAR!!!

2008-02-29T21:00:00.000-08:00

I know close friends have been asking me to update my veryvery dead blog.
so i am here BLOGGING again . on a new blog.
actually the reason i didn't blog cos i hate my blogskin then my picture have error
i take fucking 2 days to make yet failed so i guess i need to make a very ugly skin like this one here.

Today's the 29th of feb . Leap year! YAY
Happy leap year people!
talking bout leap years the movie is coming out today!Yay will be watching it tmr or something, mdm fazilah said is a nice show! CANT WAIT!! I'm going off for mahjong session! BYEBYEBYE

XOXO

" Is better to have loved & lost , then never be loved "